I recommend to pick the solution you are most uncomfortable with. If you still have a network of trusted friends, you might discuss it critically with one or more individuals in your network.
If others help you in such a situation it could create some dependence. Make sure to honor the time and effort of your friend but don’t avoid key topics that may also concern your relationship with this person.
If you find yourself in a longer depression or if you are just on your own you should really get professional help!
I am not trained in Psychology or anything similar! You are fully responsible for your actions and these are just ideas that might help in difficult times!
The challenge of different generations in our workforce, struggling with different topics needs to be addressed and we have to handle it as a society while it causes a lot of misunderstanding.
85% of working people on an international basis are not happy at work and we are heading into a time when we all will be challenged by potentially losing our job. Relationships are not lived the same way anymore, as they have been some decades ago. We live in a time of the emancipation of women and men, where we have to change concepts of living together and finding new ways of how families are living together.
It might help you to know, that many people go through a depression in their lives but most of us get through these difficult moments. We don’t just overcome these moments but they help us redefine ourselves and they make us stronger because they require us to work on our self-awareness.
Burnouts and depressions are not kept in private anymore and I am absolutely convinced we have to talk about these topics.
Close Old Chapters And Stop Any Unnecessary Actions Attached To It
If you feel that the hamster wheel you are constantly running in causes symptoms like constant anger, loss of joy, sleepless nights, crunching teeth at night, any kind of loss of appetite, fear, bad dreams or anything similar, it might be time to take action and head for a change!
It might not be the easy way but as you can read in this article it can have longlasting implications if you keep the wheel spinning.
Maybe it is your job, maybe it is your relationship, maybe it is your own perfectionism. Self awareness can only grow if you start working on yourself.
Many people in the corporate world are facing stress and long hour work weeks. Transportation and distances from home to work are getting more stressful.
Maybe there are other solutions for you in the digital world. Maybe you have to take strong decisions and finish with the past.
Take a different view on your life!
You can change things if you are willing to!
You are not a hopeless case, there are better options than just spinning the wheel!
Find a way to get out of your current circumstances!
Take Your Time, Find The Root Cause And Don’t Blame Others
If you are in the middle of a burnout or any other form of depression you should definetely take a timeout!
There is never time for a timeout!
Ask yourself what happens if you keep doing what you currently do?
Ask yourself what will happen as a worst case if you take a timeout? Will this worst case be real?
What could be the BEST case if you take a timeout?
Your problem and your situation is not made up by others!
Your life got you into this situation to make you learn your lessons.
If your boss treats you bad you have the chance to resign.
If your relationship does not work or in a worst case you are even exposed to violence you have the chance to end it and get a divorce.
Others have to handle their life and it is not your problem to judge how they do it.
Change The Location
There have been two moments in my process when I changed location. It certainly did not solve the problem but it helped me progress through the process.
The first time I stood up for myself and finally went for a longer vacation of 2 months. A surf trip to Costa Rica. This most probably was the beginning of the ending. I found out, that I could not resolve things just by taking a break. I couldn’t find happiness at that moment, even if it was a beautiful time and at least it charged my batteries.
The second time I was in the middle of my depression. I had the chance to start working in another town. I had to ride for more than an hour by train each way. It was really important for me to get into another space and get around other people.
Maybe take a job in another city and move there for some time …
Find A Repetitive Task You Plan Every Day
If you experience a complete lost of power and desire it migth help you to get some structure into your day.
Some ideas here:
Writing a journal for 15 minutes every day.
Shooting a short video every day and upload it to a private space on the internet.
Starting the day with a meditation or a gratitude exercise.
I am not a religious person but if you believe in any god prayers can be a help in difficult times.
Find A Person Outside Your Normal Circle To Talk
When I went to Costa Rica I met an old friend I had lost contact and it was very good to talk about different topics than what I struggled with and get some feedback from an outside perspective. He also went through a very hard time and provided lots of insights from a different perspective.
Then, after my divorce I also reconnected with many old friends and started to chat again and it certainly helped my to get my thoughts spinning in other directions again.
It was a real help for me to have joined the SFM Community during the final stages of my marriage. I had built networks, communities and my profiles in the social medias based on common friends with my ex-wife. It was very important for me to have a place for exchange with people who had no connection with me.
Go Consult A Psychologist
It very much depends on your case and how deep you got into a depression.
I was lucky to have my mother on my side who is trained in many fields of psychology and always supported me. I had long talks with her on the phone every day and I am very grateful that she took her time to go through these moments with me. My parents have been the only ones I involved in the problems of my relationship.
I think, my case is probably different from many, as the main issue I had to face is my illness and it mainly drives me crazy, how long it takes until my skin recovers. I resist accepting that these problems last forever and I have prove that they go away.
What I have to manage is my exposure to stress situations and how I manage them. For me it is not about the volume of work. Contrarily, I love to work and dig deep into a problem. Somehow I even work myself out of this depression by writing, setting up websites and being creative. What I struggle with and what affects me is the conservative mindset in our society and all the blocks people have when it comes to adapt to new methods and technologies.
Even so, there was a moment, when I needed to discuss topics of my relationship with my parents with them. I needed a different opinion about the case and mainly just to have somebody listening, so I went to see a psychologist and it provided me the confidence to bring all the topics to the table. It was difficult for me and it was difficult for them but we certainly could bring our relationship to a different level.
To talk to a psychologist is nothing bad or a demonstration of weakness. It is most probably an important step for you during the time of a depression. Don’t worry about the outcome, it will take you a step further in your process out of a difficult situation and back into life.
Get Out Into Nature Frequently
Nature can be a very important place to be. I personally really need the energy of the sun and it has a very strong implication on me.
Going out into the forest for long walks but also getting in touch with animals can provide healing energy.
Write A Blog Or A Book To Stop Spinning Thoughts
After breaking up it took me a while to get over the problems that have been retained during the last time of my marriage when we had reduced communication to the most necessary. Then later on the job I got into for 6 month helped me to switch my focus completely.
Being left without a job and still not through the healing process completely caused a fall back into a deep depression again but it did not last too long.
There was a moment when my mind got clear about all the thoughts that have been spinning in my head for a long time, mainly about the current developments in our society and the fast changing transformation into a digital world.
I started to write down all my thoughts and make a book out of it and it was a very healing process to get order into spinning thoughts.
I think it is very effective to write down anything that is covering your mind to get it out of your way of progress.
I remember when my sister was younger she had bad dreams about a wolf and woke up afraid at night, so my mother told her to paint the wolf. I don’t remember well what happened afterward but the wolf didn’t pop up anymore.
I didn’t finish the book until now but it wasn’t actually my goal to have it done fast. It was more of a starting point to get my mind sorted. I always used to say, that the hard drives of my computer are an extension of my brain, so if I save it, I don’t have to remember the details actively as I know where they are to recapture them in any given moment.
Write Down Your Ideal Day And Follow Up In A Journal
By writing down your ideal day you connect to a positive outlook in your life. This is actually a method you learn if you get through the starting modules of the SFM education system I joined in 2016.
I think it is a really important tool to provide you with a new mission in life.
Many people create abstract goals in their lives like earning a million and they have no plan on how to achieve it. These ideas put pressure on you without a need and they are actually counterproductive when it comes to achieving goals or getting out of a difficult moment in life.
Most of us don’t need a lot of money to achieve freedom in life and there are many other things that are a lot more important, mainly family and friends.
After writing down your ideal day it might help you to follow up daily with a journal about the steps you took to get closer to your goal, even if they are small.
Getting out of a depression or a burn out is not a long jump or a sprint. It is a step by step process and more like a marathon!
Reconnect With The Past When Things Have Still Been Good
When everything broke over my head it was not just the breakup in my relationship, it was also concerning the changes in our world.
Everything became so damn organized and I really miss the old times of smoky Jazz Clubs and when parties went on until early in the morning. Maybe it is just me, but nowadays as I see it everything established to be a business and it is so clean. Even in Cuba where I had shot my documentaries, things are more controlled and the beautiful ambiance of music in the streets is getting lost. When watching TV series everything is perfectly optimized in HQ and it certainly looks unreal and boring. Same with our selfie world where people represent just beauty while most of them are miserable.
I miss the imperfection in our world but I decided, that it is up to me what game I play.
When I had finished with the divorce I started to cut video clips of old material of my good times on a daily bases and listened to my old LP collection of Jazz Music from the 60s.
This certainly helped me to find my way back into the current time and finding the energy again to overcome my disguise for the current development that had control over me during this time.
Currently I start getting along with the new world and I am willing again to provide my part to it.
In our globally connected world, we have the possibility to find others with similar interests and it is up to each one of us to make the world the place we want it to be.
Reconnect To Old Goals
So many of us have a bucket list of goals we wanted to achieve.
Then life happened and we had to postpone them until we forgot about them.
It is time to remember about the dreams you had and the things you wanted to achieve.
Write them down and find a way to cross them out of your bucket list. If your dreams are big, be ready to put in the work to make them become reality.
Go Out To Party
Before my relationship, I went out to dance almost every night and I stopped almost completely during the time of my marriage. This happened to many friends in relationships and people start appearing on the dance floor after breaking up.
It took me some time to go out again after breaking up, mainly because sweating on the dancefloor hurt badly. After some time I started to go out to dance more frequently again.
I really missed dancing as it was and still is a great passion of mine.
If you never learned to dance you might want to take some lessons …
Stop Using Drugs To Get Your Head Cleaned Up
In many cases drugs are part of the process of overcoming a failure or a breakup. In the time when I canceled myself out of social life I smoked a lot of pot but when it all ended I stopped from one day to the other and became completely clean. I never liked to drink as I don’t like if my head spins and my brain doesn’t work properly.
Fortunately I never had a real problem with addiction and I didn’t even struggle to end smoking pot. I just wanted my head completely straight to get up again.
Find A Way To Be Of Value To Our Society And Help Others
In the first parts of my depression, I had lost almost complete interest in others. The network I had built during my relationship was not concerned about topics I care about and I cut off all old connections quietly.
Since I started my education with SFM and my research in the world of online marketing I was aware that the new global and digital world is called the sharing economy for a reason.
It is all about sharing your knowledge and connect with others through providing value in the difficult situations they are going through.
But what value can you provide if you have failed, if you fucked up and if you are too weak to get out of your apartment?
What I found is, that it is all about your story in life. You are not the only one struggling and most probably there will be many more people in our society who will struggle over the next decades and need solutions for their problems.
I learned the following point of view recently:
Ask yourself how you feel by exposing your weakness? Most people value this as a failure!
Ask yourself how you feel about others who are exposing their weakness? Most people value this as brave, touching and even heartbreaking!